X factor

I will admit it: I’ve become shamlessly addicted to the X factor.

Anyone else watching it? Can you believe Danyl and Miss Frank were bottom two?! Oh, the horror!

Personally, I’m rooting for the retarded Stacey. John and Edward have to die.

Here I am

Did you miss me?

Forgive me for being away for so long, I just got kind of bored with writing.

How’ve you all been doing?

I’ve been doing good, really good. Achieved an amazing milestone in my career, got promoted, have the best career ever, yada yada.

Still no boy though.

One of the most profound statements I ever heard about the expectations of marriage in our society was: “Girls are ingrained to think that their life until they get married is nothing more than the tetr (opening credits) of a sitcom.”

And I can’t seem to stop internalizing it.

Anyway, how’ve you all been?

Ramadan is Here

Ahhhh….Ramadan. The month of feasting, sorry, fasting. The month of family, bumming off of work, road rage, and basbousa.

Jeans

I need a new pair of jeans. I’ve been living in a pair I bought from Debenhams (of all places) for over a year. Owing to the fact that the size jeans that’s not insanely tight on my butt is usually loose on my waist (big butt and smaller waist), I hate buying jeans. But I had to today, and I can admit (shamefully) that I caved into the pressure to buy a ‘good’ pair of jeans.With the excuse that they would live longer, of course. So off I went cavorting about this pretty city (obviously not in Egypt) in search of jeans.

But unfortunately I was shamed. Every ‘good’ jeans store seemingly only caters to small girls. 7 for all mankind? 30 inch waist (UK size 12) is their ‘biggest’–fat girl, just die. Ditto Rock and Republic. Even tacky Apple Bottoms (which hilariously kept playing the ‘Low’ song mentioning their jeans over and over and over) didn’t have anything over 28 inches. It was so bad I eventually thought of sulking over to Debenhams again. Eventually though, I found an ok pair in River Island. And then treated myself to some divine ice-cream.

El Shatafa

No matter how long I’ve been away from home, there’s one thing that I always end up missing more than anything: el shatafa.

For those of you who live in this region, you know what I mean. For those of you who don’t know what it is, basically it’s a hose with a metallic nozzle used to ‘wash’ in the bathroom.

I’ve been abroad dozens of times and I still don’t understand the appeal of tissue paper. Tissue paper to dry water, that’s ok. But tissue paper to clean up after going to the bathroom is plain old nasty. And even bidets, the closest thing to a shatafa, isn’t much fun–how exactly are you supposed to ‘aim?’

Egyptian Gestures

I LOVE this ad!!!

It makes me all warm and fuzzy–I love it when an ad touches upon what it means to be an Egyptian. If you are one, you’ll really ‘get’ the ad–all about how Egyptians express themselves in a 1000 different ways without saying a word.

I’m going to be AWOL for a while, bear with me!

Twittering

Alrighty, why not?

Follow me here.

Masreya

Sindbad--an iconic cartoon we watched as kids

I wonder why is it that I can never find T-shirts that are totally Egyptian and/or Arab? The closest I’ve come to what I have in mind are Zafir’s T-shirts (right) and they’re not exactly great quality, selection, or prints.

I’d love a T-shirt with UmKalthoum on it for instance, things that when you see you think “Egypt” or “Arab” (and not a camel or pyramid, please). I’m so tired of seeing everyone walking around with Rolling Stones T-shirts, or things that are iconic to non-Arabs or Egyptians. Business Idea right there!

My Flaws

Thanks to a very nice comment from J. Allen I’ve decided to come up with a list of my major flaws, arranged in order of importance. Because even though this blog should be my space to present myself in the way I like, apparently some people have gotten the idea that I think I’m absolutely flawless. Far from it. I ruthlessly scrutinize my character flaws and failings as ruthlessly as I scrutinize a menu in a new restaurant.

One of my favorite authors, Osama Gharib, wrote in his book “Aftookaliso*:” “Do you notice how when you ask people for character flaws they give you things that are really accomplishments? Such as ‘I care too much for people’ or ‘I’m a perfectionist.’” So, I’m not going to do that. I’m going to give you real, humongous flaws: So, without further ado:

• I have a healthier-than-normal ego and a less-than-healthy sense of humility. As this e-card goes:
  It’s annoying me like crazy that I can’t share the details of my successes with complete strangers (aka you), who won’t even really care about them or know what they mean to me because you don’t really know me.
• I don’t take criticism. Even if I know I deserve it, if I’ve done something wrong, I will try and explain it away. It’s very, very hard for me to swallow my pride and admit I’m wrong. On the other hand:
• I love to critique others. Or actually, I don’t love it but I’m convinced positive critique will help the person get better.
• I think my way is usually the right way. I will try and argue and debate with you till the cows come home to pick holes in your way and why my way is better. And thanks to years of arguing with my father, I’ve learnt to argue for hours without ever losing my:
• Temper. Thankfully this has gone way down since those angst-filled teen years, but I also know that other than hormones, a reason it’s gone down is because more or less I now get to do when I want. But when I don’t, I will be in a horrible mood. My temper isn’t manifested in tantrums and shouting, but in:
• Verbal Thrashing. I will flay the unfortunate person with brutal comments, bringing up old history without thinking before I react and then:
• Usually not apologize. Again, I find it hard to admit I was wrong so my apologizes are few and often not very sincere, especially since I’m convinced I was in the right.
• Cynicism and sarcasm. Whenever anyone says something really positive I point out the downside, and whenever they say anything slightly stupid I respond sarcastically/
• Complaining. I do it often and with gusto. I have to make the person in front of me feel the weight of all the things I have to do and how much effort I put into everything. All so they’ll praise how I’m handling it, of course.
• I monopolize conversations. Sometimes about myself, other times because I think my insights/ opinions have more value.
• I’m highly competitive. I love to win win win and I’m a sore loser.
• I hate delegating. If I ask someone to do something, I’ll probably find fault with it/ think I could have done a better job myself.

Do you hate me now?

* Aftookalisoo: They gave you fatwas (religious edicts) that are lies. Fatwas have become so absurd here in Egypt the verb ifty is now used for anyone who is giving you their opinion.

Do not Twitter

Hilarious!

If there is a fire... Do not Twitter!