I’m getting kind of bored of this blog. I mean, it’s just me rambling on about my life. Which isn’t even that interesting. I go to work and then go home. And you don’t even know me, so why should you even care?
Then again, I could just be feeling blue. This week, I found out that I was a finalist in one of the most prestigious awards in my field. An award which has never had an Egyptian as a finalist before. And then I got invited to speak at one of the most intellectual events there is in a far off country. Neither piece of news made much of an impact with my family.
That’s the crux of the mutter–I’m just so misunderstood with my family. I don’t fit in. I want to be with someone who gets it. Someone who, when I tell them what I’ve won or who invited me, would instantly understand the magnitude. Not someone I’d have to explain to what this means. Which never really works; it’s like translating a pun. You either understand it or you don’t.
Sigh.
Other than the great news I got this week (which was made somehow not so great when whenever I told I family member I had news they immediately went: “there’s a guy!” As if there’s nothing else I could do with my life that could have meaning except find a guy), nothing much has been going on. I went fishing in Ain Al-Sokhna with some friends and got sunburnt, and I’m finally going sandboarding this weekend.
And now I’m just sitting in the middle of the night watching my new addiction, Britian’s got talent (did you hear the opera dude?!) and eating Nutella sandwhiches in fino* bread and baby’s butts**.
* I think it’s called artisan bread in English. In any case, it looks like a severely anemic baguette. When did the fino loaves get so small? I remember when one used to be enough. Now you need to eat at least two before you feel full.
**Baby’s butts = apricots. Just because that’s what they look like.
I enjoy your blog, but I´d prefer if you opened up a little bit more. it is sometimes quite vague, especially the stuff about your private life even though I do understand why you would want to keep it private. But I will give you an example. Saying that you are a finalist in your field, without saying what the field makes you look like a phony. Sorry but that is how I perceive it.
please don´t stop writing. I enjoy most your pieces on Egypt.
Maybe they did the ‘unexcited gesture’ on purpose so u will think ur current achievement is still small so u keep going for a bigger one.
or, maybe they just cant wait to play with ur baby.
Dont let their lack of enthusiasm affect you this way. This blog *is* interesting, ramble on!
maho families don’t get stuff. just accept it. that’s why you’re not supposed to live with them as an adult. best thing i ever did.
Oh, do continue your rambling. Because rambling is more sincere than trying to set your words pretty. And I love reading stories of real people.
And now I also crave for a nutella bread…
I understand the misunderstood thing. No one in my family does artistic things. My primary outlet is dance, but I also do mosaics, crochet, and sew. They know if they like something, but they don’t feel it. I hope that makes sense. It’s kind of vague, but I cant’ think of another way to phrase it. In my husband’s family I’m just the lone liberal freak.
We can’t choose family, though. We feel like we should get along and be a cohesive group just because we share blood, but that’s not always the case. Families are just groups of individuals, and just like any random group you’d pull from the street their opinions can vary widely. I realize that these folks are important to you; therefore it’s important for you to have their approval.
Say you’re a scientist. Praise from Stephen Hawking would thrill you more intellectually, but praise from your mom would give you warm fuzzies. It’s OK to love and care about family, but you can’t let them define you. I sure didn’t embrace this concept at your age, and you might not either. These people care about you – not your accomplishments. Yes, it would be nice if they could be as excited as you are, but just because they’re not doesn’t mean you (or they!) are wrong.
Speaking of rambling I feel like that’s all I’ve done in this post. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I understand why you feel like this. I hope that it’s just a temporary low, though. It’s OK to be different from your family, and they don’t have to understand you any more than you understand what drives them. The important thing is that you accept the differences and embrace the person as a whole.
@ madame fouad: I see what you mean, and I guess why you might think I’d be making stuff up. But that would be very, very pathetic. Making stuff up to impress people I don’t know and who don’t know me? Kind of like dressing up to meet a blind person who doesn’t know they’re supposed to be meeting you.
The only reason I don’t divulge more information is that I’d really, really like to keep my identity secret. And if I tell you what the field is in, it’s child’s play to find out what the biggest award in that field is, and then click on the list of finalists.
But I will try and write more mundane details: Right now I am sitting on my laptop on our big ass dining table because my back hurts from being hunched over it on my bed all day. I am dressed in black leggings and a snoopy tank top, my hair is tied in a ponytail, and I am drinking god awful Nescafe from a free Ahwet Ali mug. I am listening to Mozart while I work on calculations, and I’m considering ordering a spicy twister combo from KFC.
How’s that?
@ Asle: Probably the baby thing!
@ Andrea: Thanks for the very thoughtful feedback.
I love to read the blogs of people who live in countries other than my own — what’s different there? what’s the same? I have a journal myself on livejournal, and like to look back at it to see what happened when, to remember details that would otherwise be fuzzy.
I enjoy your blog because I visited Egypt last year, and Cairo was so… well… big. I couldn’t get a very good idea of what it would be like to live there. Reading your journal helps me remember my trip and helps me understand a little bit about being Egyptian. Thanks for letting us read it.
CONGRATULATIONS!
I noticed that no one has actually told you “well done”, so I will be the first!
I can appreciate how you feel but just stay positive. Whenever you feel blue, just remember that skinny dip in the lake and that wonderfully liberating feeling! Life is just too short!
By the way, I meant to thank you for including the translation of arabic words on your blog. It’s very useful for an agnabaya like me.
Thanks, shoo! I am vairy excited–gala ceremony is in a month or so
Oooh- a gala ceremony! That’ll be fun! You should go and book yourself into a pampering session at the spa in the JWMarriot before you go- you deserve it! Have fun.