Just Keep Swimming*

I dragged my butt out of bed this morning at 8am to go swimming at Heliopolis Club (Women’s only hours are 8-11am on Saturdays and Tuesdays).

Two clubs I haven’t visited in ages in one weekend! Mash’Allah, mash’Allah.

It was amaZing. An Olympic size pool, which makes a wonderful change from the tiny, kiddie size pool I usually swim in.

Drifted lazily in the pool with my friend. I don’t think we swam more than half a dozen laps, but whatever. There’s nothing than can make you feel more like a bum than observing the crazy water ballet girls, who were practicing for the championship like crazy.

Honestly, how do they do that? How can they balance their bodies upside down? They were performing their routine to an Arabic tabla song, which was tres cool.

After the time was up we then ruined all our half-hearted good work by eating fuul and ta’meya (falafel) while watching old people try and play croquet.  Tea with milk was divine, and it was only after I slurped it all down that I realized why: full cream milk!

Strange fact of the day: You can hear the music more clearly underwater than you can out of it.

* That’s from Finding Nemo. I loved Dorie.

Run for Cure

Today I ran for the cure.

Well, more like walked. This is Egypt, after all.

Today the Gezira Club hosted the annual “Run for cure,” breast cancer marathon. Organized by the The Breast Cancer Foundation of Egypt

Convinced my friends it would be fun, and we went for the “women’s run,” which consisted of basically walking two symbolic laps around the track.

We then visited all the booths, where I drank some crap-tasting “ionic” energy drink, and ate a divine blueberry muffin from Dina Cantina, the place where I am now going to order all my desserts.

I haven’t been to the Gezira Club since I was a kid, which is a shame because it seems like a pretty cool place to hang out. Must make better use of my membership.

My friends then tried to drag me over to a sushi restaurant, but I balked. Uggh, sushi.

Babies

One of my best friends gave birth yesterday.

Babies are so so cute. All squished and soft and beautiful.

It’s funny, but I seem to be going to a lot more hospital rooms lately than I am ballrooms. Almost all my close friends are now expecting baby number 1 or 2. No more weddings, and a lot more sitting at home with the kids.

I love babies, I think they’re cute. I love their soft little feet and the crease between their hand and arm. But it’s strange how I’m still not really ‘craving’ a baby. My maternal instinct is still very subdued. Far from envying my friends their babies, I’m more like “Thank God I don’t have to sit with the pooping and crying babies.”

Plus, for some reason I hate those photos of babies in flower pots and what not.

WTF?

They don’t make me go “awwwwwwww,” they just make me go: huh

Babies are such a humongous responsibility. I really don’t understand why they’re taken so lightly in our country, where you’re expected to pop out several of them in quick succession the minute you get married. Let’s not consider if we have the funds, the ability etc. No, God will send them their rizq. I’m not saying He won’t, just that it’s silly to become a baby-making machine if you’re not prepared

The Gargoyle

.,,Has to be one of the most disturbing books I’ve ever read.

The story basically goes like this: guy who is stoned out of his head gets into a horrific car accident where he is severely burnt and almost dies.

The most gory descriptions of his recovery process ensue, and his struggle to go back to life, aided by a crazy woman who tells him they were lovers when she was a nun in 1800 Germany. Parallels to Dante are justified.

Weird, creepy, but definitely very interesting

Double Crossed Legs

Double Crossed Legs!

I started this blog to chart my weight loss/ gym journey, but it seems I’ve fallen short of chronicling my experiences. So today, a post about how much I’m craving Alain Le Notre’s yogurt ice-cream cake with blueberry sauce. on top

Well, I am.

I don’t want to bore you, so here’s the summary: I’ve lost quite a bit of weight, built up muscle, become more curvy, and dropped a dress size. Best of all, my measurements have gone way down–my waist in particular has shrunk by 15cm.

Yay me. (Hip hip, hooray!)

I’ve started eating healthily (i.e. eat something every 3 hours rather than my normal eat nothing all day then have a humongous meal once a day).

I was at the gym once and saw this episode on Oprah* where Dr. Oz said it only takes 12 tries to get used to any kind of food. So I girded my loins (sp?) and I’ve finally gotten used to the taste of skimmed milk and brown toast.

I don’t feel like I’m really dieting though, which is great. The only thing I crave like crazy are desserts, since I definitely have a sweet tooth (or five or six).

But though I’m not starving myself, I have upped the exercise. I still hate it, though. I am never going to be one of those exercise junkies, chugging away on treadmills at 6am.

So how has my life changed now that I’m slimmer? Not really all that much. People have noticed, I’ve gotten the compliments, etc, but walahy it hasn’t really changed me in any way. Perhaps in another 5kg.

The coolest thing I’m loving about the weight loss right now? I’ll give you a hint: look at the picture! Ta da! I can now double cross my legs!!

I seriously couldn’t believe it. I was watching American Idol a couple of days ago at the Gym** (so sick of the blind guy already, can we kick him off? And I’m still not feeling the new judge, Cara) and I noticed this woman in the audience who had her legs double crossed, and for some reason I immediately tried it. I was shocked to find out I could now do it!

I remember once in university I had this professor who always double crossed her legs, and I used to look at her like she was a martian. It looked sooo uncomfrtable and athletic! But now I can proudly say that I can double cross my legs, and I will proudly show my talent off every chance I get.

* By the way, I am so not a TV person. But there’s nothing to do in the gym except watch whatever is on. I’m never there at night, which is when all the channels have cool things on, which is why I have now watched many episodes of Oprah, Doctor Phil, Rachel Ray, and–I’m almost ashamed to say this–Charmed.
** See what I mean?

King Kong

Watched half of King Kong while I was in the gym today.

I’d watched it before on DVD because I couldn’t stomach a three-hour-long movie, but I faintly recall that I fast forwarded through all the action scenes.

But today I watched every frame of the dinosaur vs King Kong fight. God, what a bloody fight. And could the heroine be more of a damsel in distress with the worst luck in the world? She escapes one dinosaur for another, then another! But poor King Kong. He saves her from everything and she still runs away from him. Fickle woman.

And what’s with all the sexual tension between her and the monkey? She looks at him and he looks at her. Then he stares into her eyes while she stares into his. We get it.

Bribes

I got a parking ticket today. In Egypt, your parking ticket is stuck to your window.

Question: What kind of glue is used on those stickers? I removed it almost the second the guy stuck it, and it still left a mark.

Ugggh.

It’s doubly annoying because the policeman was standing right there. I was only double parked for a maximum of five minutes while I ran into the cafe and picked up a sandwich, but he beat me to my car. Then came them “ma’lesh ya anesa*” and suggestive smiles. Slip him a tenner and the ticket will go away.

But I just can’t do it. I understand why they do this–heck I’d probably do that if my salary was like theirs**–trying to fleece everyone, but I just can’t give bribes. It feels so wrong and icky. I’ll pay them money if they help me park (as if) but I draw the line at bribing.

It’s sad because this is basically how Egypt works–a little money greases the wheels and makes everything work–from the bottom tier of the pyramid all the way to the top. That and your wasta***, of course.

* Sorry mademoiselle.
** Ranges from LE 100–250 ($20-$50) per month.
*** Connections

Wahed Sefr

Just watched the new Egyptian movie, Wahed Sefr, One-Nil.

I usually stay far away from most Egyptian movies, since most are ridiculous attempts at being humorous. I only watch them if they deal with serious topics.

The movie did not disappoint. It followed the lives of 8 down-on-their-luck Egyptians representing different members of the Egyptian community and how their lives intertwine. The poverty, the degradation, and the sheer hopelessness of their lives was clear. And yet, one unique thing about Egyptians was made clear: how football brought them all together and brought some much-needed happiness to their dreary lives. The movie finale takes place on the day of the final match of the African Championship 2008, between Egypt and Cameron, which Egypt won 1-0.

For those who aren’t Egyptian, it’s hard to explain how football brings Egyptians together, how people who couldn’t give two cents about who won or lost suddenly become frenzied when Egypt wins abroad. On that day, I remember how crazy the streets were. Social classes melted, the worries were forgotten, and people partied all night in the streets.

What the streets looked like after Egypt won the African Cup

The one story that really impacted me in the movie was the story of the singer, portrayed by the actress Zeina.

In Egypt, it’s common to make fun of the new generation of ’singers,’ who are basically Barbie dolls who can’t sing, and are chosen purely for how pretty they are/ how much skin they’re willing to show on TV. We make fun of them, criticize them, look down upon them, call them no-talent ‘loose’ women, and yet still watch the videoclips.

There’s one of those singers in the movie, but we get her story: she’s a poor woman who was plucked from obscurity by a rich film producer, who makes her his mistress and exploits her, giving her pennies for her singing.

In one scene, she’s being interviewed on air and she’s asked to sing a famous song. Without the music and the dancing, her voice sounds atrocious and her interviewer sniggers. Then a phone-in comes in from a famous composer, who basically insults her for having no vocals and just a body. She has no idea who she is, and her interviewer laughs. She looks ashamed but after the break comes back strong:

You may laugh at me all you like, and bring your fancy composer to insult me on air. But all I can say is this: if you think I’m so ridiculous, then why are you listening to my tapes? As long as my fans want to listen to me, I’ll sing.

It’s true. We’re hypocritical. As the saying goes, “we love something and we spit on it.”

In another, more heartbreaking scene, she meets her veiled sister, who rips into her telling her that she is a stain on the family honor. She replies:

You think that you are the only pure one and we are all dirty? I think about God every day. But this is the only way I found to make money. Until you find a better one, I don’t want to hear your judgment. God’s judgment is enough for me.

It was an interesting take on the lives of singers. True, for every girl in this situation there are a dozen who aren’t, but it still showed us that there is more than one side to every story.

In general, the characters in the movie were very diverse, and I really liked that they represented many facets of Egyptian society. The veiled girl was not portrayed as a saint, but as a normal girl. The inclusion of a Coptic woman was great since there are a lot of Egyptian Copts, and although a lot of Copts are making a fuss over how the woman was portrayed–considering becoming a Muslim since the church wouldn’t allow her to get married after she got a divorce–but it does happen in reality.

Overall, I give it a 7/10.

Here’s the trailer:

Holi and Global Village

Had a lot of fun this weekend. Forced some friends of mine to attend holi
with me at the Indian embassy, which is the Indian festival of colors. Forced them because, as typical Egyptians, all we usually do is eat and watch movies. Anything other than that requires persuasion.

But they enjoyed themselves so hopefully it’ll be easier to drag them to Andrea Bocelli singing at the opera next weekend.

Holi is an Indian festival to celebrate spring. Basically, people throw powder and water at each other, eat, dance and make a lot of noise. We got into the spirit, joined a group of Indian women dancing, and got them to teach us some dance moves. I think I was Indian in a previous life. Surprisingly, there was quite a number of Egyptians there.

Afterwards, we strolled over to the Gezira garden, where there was a Global Village event on. Nothing like Global Village in Dubai, of course, but pretty fun. Every country had a stall and was selling things from their country.

And a fun day was had by all.

Cartoon Network

Today I volunteered entertain my cousins for a bit, which translated as me sitting with them on the sofa while they watch cartoon network.

But when did it get so violent?! In my day, cartoon network was all about three things:

1. Johnny Bravo.
2. Cow and Chicken.
3. Dextor’s Laboratory.

Now it’s all bam and pow and kill and noise and action.